I am sitting here at 0125 on a Monday morning, listening to dripping sounds of water coming from the guttering.
As the rain begins its heavy descent upon us again and the steady sounds of my keyboard typing away under my fingertips.
With no sounds of snoring, murmurings and farting noises coming from my family members as they sleep away the night, wrapped up in various amounts of blankets; praying that they will wake up to the sun greeting them through pink dusted clouds and no sign of rain.
Like I will see that happening in the next few days.
It has been a wet Australia Day weekend where some parts are now facing tornado’s (water ones at least); mass amounts of flooding. Not to mention, there have been a few incidents where people have gone missing.
With that news, I hope we will find them alive and safe.
For us, we aren’t swamped in yet unless you look out my back door and see the mini creek that isn’t meant to be there racing through my backyard. The family dog staring at us pathetically as if to say, “Why is there is so much water and how am I meant to go to the toilet. Ew, water!”
However most of my Australia Day long weekend has been spent battling my way through the constant rain and off to work to keep my mischievous Resident’s under a watchful eye.
If any of the family member’s are reading this, I haven’t been encouraging them! I promise. Okay, maybe a little.
The usual bunch that are normally located in the front foyer, watching the locals walking up and down the road. Commenting on what is happening outside as they haven’t stepped out past the front doors as the wind has been blowing through the slit in between the doors.
But instead have been bunched around the lounge room windows, staring out towards the sky longingly for dry weather.
Here I am standing there behind them thinking, ‘One day Janet. One day there will be sunshine and I won’t have to worry about having to paddle to work on a surfboard’.
Then promptly wondering if we will ever get a Resident named Janet, to which I will change the name of the person in the sentence to a completely different one. Otherwise, that will be a little bit awkward if the brain decides on spouting out the words and I make myself look like a complete and utter moron. Been there and done that today.
My life is now complete.
The reason why I am now writing at 0134 is because I know that if I don’t write it down and get it off my chest, then I am certain I will be tossing and turning in bed or Grey’s Anatomy along with Nurse Jackie will be in the DVD player and the rest of the Pavalova will end up on my hips.
Potentially waking up my sleeping beauties from various amounts of hand clapping and giggles.
I’ve had one of those nights. The nights were you should be wrapped up on the couch or in bed, with a good book, a glass of wine and the thoughts of “Oh this is going….” and you wake up the next morning and the page you started reading, is now covered in drool.
(Oh wait, that’s me! Minus the alcohol.)
It has been one of those nights where my ethical background of believing in Euthanasia should be allowed in any country has been put to the test. Along with having to follow guidelines that are stipulated to not only protecting myself, my organisation of employment but also for this human being.
Touchy subject, I know.
But wouldn’t it be easier for those who are suffering long term illnesses like: cancer, mental diseases ie: Dementia, Alzheimers etc; have the choice of whether or not they get to end their time when they want it too be ended.
Rather then staring at you with a tube down their throat, a machine having to breathe for them while they are still mentally functioning properly or watching them waste away until they resemble a small fraction of who they used to be as a human.
Unlike most cases today where we have the choice of being a blood donor, an organ donor, what religion we are going to take on as an adult/child. Who we get to be sexually active with, if pregnancies are unwanted or if the child has a rare chance of surviving within a certain bracket of time.
We have the choice of terminating or keeping the fetus. The choice of what we want to be in life, where we want to live, who we have as friends, where we want to be in 20 years from now.
All I can say is if it were your patient who were dying of any of the following long term illnesses, would you:
A.) Give your patient more morphine to ease their pain, knowing that you are helping them in the long run and that you are being a human being. And if Euthanasia were accepted, would you tell the patient in a medical way that it would be okay to go down that Golden Path to Emerald City?
B.) Become the robotic Nurse you are meant to be. Shut down all feelings, smiles and forget how to be warm and caring at the front door of the building. Ignore the signs that your person is in a lot of pain and carry on like nothing was/is happening.
In my personal interest and therefore in some cases defence, I know that I get attached to people.
Especially when I see them wanting to be physically held or knowing that a small gesture like a pat on the hand or a brushing of fingers against someone’s head comes quickly to me.
Call it motherly instinct if you want, but to me is shows that I am caring and able to spend a quick couple of minutes, reminding someone that is someone out there thinking of them.
In other cases, I have been told that I need to stop doing this and that I need to become more focused on the “In and Out” method. Not necessarily by my work I would like to point out but by professionals who had interviewed me for jobs in the Admin side of life.
Clearly money is the answer to everything in life.
Another question that I have to ask is, have you ever seen a member of your family die a slow and painful death? And no, I don’t mean having to put down animals; I mean actually standing over your family member’s death bed, watching their chest slowly raising and descending before that final breath comes and goes. Never to be replaced again.
Would you have offered them that little bit of more morphine to numb them, so then when they do drift from that limbo land that most people seem to be in before they do pass.
Knowing in five years time when the pain has eased off a little and you are able to look back on that time, that you can sit there and say to yourself, “Yes, I did everything that I could have possibly done. In fact, I did more then what could have been done.”
I know this may get me kicked in the arse in the long haul but I believe in standing up for my rights and other’s as well and if I see something that needs to be done, than I am not going to stand there quietly.
In fact, I am that family member of your patient that is forever asking questions, not because I am wanting to hold you up BUT because I want to know what the hell is going on with your patient.
I am the one that will tell you to back the fuck away from your patient, if I have noticed that you have not washed your hands nor santitised, touched your hair and mouth in a space of 30 seconds, not put on gloves and you are about to stick a paddle pop stick near your patient’s eyes.
I don’t fucking think so, Martha Stewart of dodgy practicing.
To which the later is a true story I am afraid. The hospital in practice shall be kept under lock and key because of the innocent nurses that are having to work with dodgy nurses.
All I can say that when I become a nurse, I will try to not become attached to people however I can not guarantee that my emotions won’t be flying out the door anytime too soon. So I guess people better suck it up, put their big girl panties on and get used to it because I and it are here to stay.
My parting words are:
There are many cases were WE as INDIVIDUALS get to hold our own thoughts, beliefs, customs, wants and desires without being judged to harshly from our peers, family members and society.
So with that are you: For Or Against Euthanasia?
Until next time,