Darling, Touch My Breasts!

 Dear fellow and slightly stunned readers,
First of all before I begin, if you see in me in the streets and automatically have the urge to come up and lay a hand freely on my left or right tit, then think again. Because I have and will continue to do so breaking people’s fingers if they dare upon doing that in public without any consent from my being at all. So please take this opportunity to remember that if you see me on the main street in my little rural country town and are overcome with the urge to “have a grope”.
As those dearest and nearest to me, have always known that I am a big supporter of October. Not only is it holding a special someone’s birthday in it on the 19th but in medical terms, October holds something truly dear to me. October is known in Australia as Breast Cancer Awareness Month or simply known in my case as: Breast Cancer Month. Ever since I first discovered what October meant back many years ago when I was still in high school, I have become a firm supporter of all the health a woman can get in regards to her breasts. And especially now since I am living in a rural and remote town, two hours from any major hospital, that any woman, whether they have private or public health care should be allowed to have a free mammogram.
I think it truly started when a beloved and much adored friend and Mother at the time, of both myself and Lois, were told that this particular leggy brunette had found a lump in her breast. The first thought that sprung up into both of our minds were: is it cancerous? Which no doubt is the first thing that comes to mind when you check your breasts and find a certain lump somewhere or the possible thought of: I did not just feel that. Thankfully after a biopsy and the closeness of us holding each other in the times, it turned out the benign cyst. 
Ever since that day and as someone who will be some day working in the medical field either as a nurse or a doctor, I have promised myself that I will continue to be a strong supporter of Breast Cancer Awareness month. And in fact, I am one of those crazy people that go hunting for a breast cancer pink ribbon in shops will buy two or three of them because I believe that money is being put to good use. In fact the ribbon that I brought two years ago when I first worked in Aged Care, is still carried around in my pouch in my zip along with the bracelet my Nan gave me for my year 12 graduation are both brought out.
As we probably know by now how old I am, I can openly admit that for someone who is my age; I openly feel my breasts while in the shower for any lumps. “Why?” you ask is someone so young doing that. And this is my answer: Not all women over the age of 50 get breast cancer you know.
For instance in case your mind has relapsed and you are in shock over the “Darling, Touch My Breasts” title, there have been many actresses and even modern day women have fought cancer. And some of them were young and not always over the age of 50. Hell one of the girls I went to work with was 26 when she found a lump in her breast and it turned out to be cancerous. 
However don’t get me wrong, I am not an expert in this so please do not quote me and then later send me an abusive email stating: “How dare you! You do not know what you are talking about.” 
First of all, I found out that one of my most beloved and favourite writers when I was 12, Judy Blume, a phenomenal young adult writer had a double mastectomy. And in case no one knows who Judy Blume is, look towards Kathy Bates, a fantastic actress who might I say did a great job in Blind Side; Christina Applegate and of course, Angelina Jolie. These women have either fought breast cancer, had a double mastectomy or have decided on having surgery to prevent the cancer for happening and evolving.
And for those women out there who are currently facing this battle: any woman has the decision to either fight the battle against breast cancer and proudly stand her ground with her rock chick sword and declare war on this foreign antibody. Or if you have gotten the news that radiation or chemo will not work because it has progressed and the only option is to have a double mastectomy; please listen to your doctor. He/She knows a breast from the membrane to the outside of your epidermis and know what they are talking about.
These ladies are actual survivors of breast cancer.
The normal question that will pop into your head will be: ‘should I cut my breasts off. And if I do this, will my partner/husband/girlfriend or anyone else find me sexually attractive and will I be disfigured for the rest of my life? Most of all: will I like my body after my breasts have been removed?’ If you have the person supporting you, holding your hand and firmly telling you on a daily basis that they are here for you and that YOU CAN DO THIS, then that person is not going to sit there and think you are ugly for having two scars; where your breasts were.
I have to admit ladies, whether we sit there and when asked what type of body part do we love the most about ourselves, we always sit there and think that our breasts are in the top 6 of list. If they aren’t, then you do not like your breasts at all and you one of the women that actually think they are really and truly ugly. 
In my case, I actually like my breasts but at the moment I am just wishing they would stop changing their mind between what cup size they would like to be. One day they are a size D and a size C and in my lingerie collection, I have to support three different sized bras all ranging from a B to a D. Why cannot bra companies just have the same make and shape for me, so then I can go into a store and just pick up a bra without having to try it on. However, I would be pretty upset if I was told by a surgeon if I am diagnosed with breast cancer that they would have to remove my breasts as I am a particular fan of mine.
I think my breasts are perfect for my body and I think any smaller or larger, I would either look like an hourglass figure with a deflated pair of eggs resting on my chest, trying to cook in the hot weather or Pamela Anderson gone wrong. I dread the day I woke up after having my children and look down at my chest and see Lois’ chest resting where my little boobs used to be. Because when the women in my life get together, I both openly stare at my Nan’s breasts and Lois’ and in return think to myself that I need to hire a professional bra maker, fitter and possibly start now building stronger back muscles to support what I am no doubt going to inherit.
Even Mercedes is telling you to check your breasts.

So Ladies and Gentlemen, both in the medical fields and for those reading this around the world: if you know someone who is experiencing Breast Cancer, the fight of their life, the tough road of decision making ahead of them, someone who is waiting for the results to return; hold out your hand with a smile on your face and offer them a shoulder to cry on, a back strong enough to help them support the world that is balancing on their shoulders and stand proudly holding their hand next to them. And if need be, grab your bitch battle gear that is hiding in the back of your cupboard, that has been waiting for you for years and let go. Remember Beyonce sung that horrible song called “Run this world” and that is exactly what we are going to do. Run this motherf*cker world and guys, do not stand in our way unless you want your balls to be crushed.

And if you are in Australia and see a box that has Breast Cancer memborilla for the month; buy something whether it be a fridge magnet or a breast cancer ribbon and proudly know that you are helping someone with their battle. Or remember, that one day you could be walking more than a mile in their shoes and be experiencing the same thing that they are currently facing on a daily basis.

So for this month I am going to purchase something to help those women as I may one day be walking their mile, in my nursing shoes or doctor heels. If I find myself in their shoes walking a mile, I  would appreciate it if someone my aged did the same thing and would continue to support me, my battle, decisions and prayers. And if I am at the set of lights or getting my car washed into those automatic car washes, will be a bit naughty and feel my breast to see if there are any lumps and will also continue to do so in the shower.
Ladies, please remember to check your breasts this month as it is Breast Cancer Awareness month. And if you do not know how to check your breasts properly and are tec savy, Google the tips. Or better yet, go and be brave and ask your doctor or a close friend how they check their breasts and bring up the topic of it being breast cancer month. And gentlemen, don’t worry: Next month in Movember, you will not be missing out on being recognised for prostate cancer and you deferring getting your prostate checked by a doctor.
We shall be talking about that next month. So for that, stay tuned. However in the mean time, I shall update you on how my first clinical went and how I managed to survive my shock after nearly having a car accident. All I can say in that regards is that I have had the two most greatest drivers, teaching me everything that I have needed to know before and after getting behind the wheel of a car. So with that, Thanks Lois and Daddy xo.
Until next time, 
I think by now, you should have at least gotten the message!

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