|Pull up a chair and let’s toast…
From beaches and exotic bars to leather and lace.
This is the story of how a no plain or ordinary Jane managed to captivate my attention and following for the past few years.
Before I welcome you to another post, I would like to mention a couple of things.
Firstly, welcome to the month of Empower October and secondly, I hope you are comfortable.
For I suspect this is going be a long blog as I am not capable of writing four sentences and claiming it to be a work of art. So you may wish to get up from wherever you are and grab something to drink and eat.
Last but not least, I have to inform you as a writer and owner of this blog; I have never met nor held an actual telephone call with this person.
For we simply communicate through email, reading of one’s blog and the odd message on Instragram.
Without further adieu and much suffering on our behalf, let’s crack open the olive jar and shake us a martini.
Like any story undertaken and told by a person, it always has a starting reference as to when it originally took place.
In my case, it begin in the year of 2013 when I was a fresh faced nursing student who had just accepted my place within uni and was absolutely shitting herself from fear.
It wasn’t for the belief I was going to fail and completely drop out like a moron for failing my first semester (all though half of the class did), but rather it stemmed from the fact there was a 10% possibility no one would like me.
This of course stemmed back to my early days in high school when my face was greeted with the toilet water and promised that I would have similar repeats if I breathed a word to anyone.
As some of us know, I lived in a small blink of an eyelid home-stretch featuring tumble weeks and cowboys on horses. Not to mention the small rural community housed the man I was considering spending the rest of my life with as man and wife.
Having accepted my position at university, I started blogging whatever crossed my mind as a nursing student.
My blog has bore witness along with you to my thoughts and feelings are in regards to nursing school and countless hours (860 to be exact) spent being a slave.
Plus you also got to learn my experience second hand as to how quick you can go from administering care to a patient to being a patient.
Over the last three years, you have seen and read the ups and downs one might experience on a daily basis when balancing the life of worker, nursing student and lover.
In the end, my blog has seen me transition from being scared shitless in my pants to forging a path that is only structured to my limitations and expectations. No doubt, A Stairway To Nurse’s Heaven and you as a Dearest Reader shall continue to bear witness to my large moments of self doubt and fears.
Considering I wrote about my relationship crumbling to dust and me potentially dating a serial psychopath, I think it is safe to say we are pretty close in that regards.
Particularly when you saw me escape from the country like Alice trying to escape from the Mad Queen of Hearts and it is only until now, I realise my outlook on life and future relationships has changed.
These outlooks were all changed by a simple and very much, single click.
The click I refer to is not the one you would normally expect from someone who appears to be so level headed and stubborn beyond doubt. But I realised I simply needed to escape.
I needed to escape from reality and writing.
For what I had wanted and needed to be wasn’t someone who constantly thought of ‘what if?‘.
Ah yes, the ‘what if?‘ question.
The question that seems to float around in the back of your mind when you are in a relationship and you wake up, realizing what you are doing, dating or hearing isn’t exactly what had been intended for you as a person and human being.
Call it Destiny or call it Fate if you wish, but let me tell you something. That little something is a bitch and a pain in my arse.
For I soon learnt that ‘what if?‘ question made me as a twenty something year old to want and desire something. Which in some cases was described as a ‘selfish move on your behalf’.
It all stemmed from the desire of wanting to be someone who could escape from reality by closing her bedroom door, turn on some calming and soothing tone of Norah Jones and simply, read.
As readers, reading allows you to form opinions, emotional attachments and essentially allows for the reader to wonder what life would be like.
In my case as a reader, I desired to know what life would be like without tumble weeds, cowboys and rumors.
It was a chance to escape from the relationship I ended and from the rumors of ‘she probably slept with someone else’.
Yes, I have to admit it was self indulging however at the same time, it brought attention to myself because the ‘what if?’ question made me aware of things within my life which weren’t picture perfect.
And they hadn’t been picture perfect for a while.
When swapping roles as writer to reader, I have the chance to escape the life I live and lived at the time and I can spend hours, minutes and seconds enclosed within a bubble.
Because during that time, I got to walk cobbled streets in Europe as a free woman who had no emotional hang ups or attachments. I get to hog tie and wrestle criminals after stunning them with my taser and giving them the ‘you’re under arrest’ speech.
Reading has allowed me to grow in the knowledge that it is okay, to simply take a few moments out of my life to simply breathe, relax and allow things to fall into place. It also has allowed me to start living a life instead of dreaming about it.
Where I get to be the woman I have desired to be.
By becoming the woman I desired, I needed to give the boot to my pathetic thoughts and loss of self motivation.
Which was changed one morning when I opened a blog and saw the fine coastline of Bronte Beach, Sydney.
|Bondi to Bronte Walk…
It was that split second I thought to myself, ‘if she can do it, then I can get off my fat, lazy arse and do it as well’.
So began the journey of eating healthy, taking up positive thoughts when things got bad and exercising. It has been both beneficial for my physical but mental health as well as I no longer sit here and wonder, ‘what do I not want to discuss?’
Finally, reading has allowed me to simply take time out to be ‘me’ as I read whatever holds my fascination.
This thought only occurred after reading the legendary ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ bullshit.
I knew deep down that I wanted to go out there and seek more. Not only for my curiosity but also to allow me to gain a better sense as to what ‘You’, the reader, wants to read.
As I waited in the early hours of a Sunday morning, I watched my little cursor blink impatiently as if encouraging me to ‘hurry the fuck up, woman!’
Than the idea came to me.
If A Stairway To Nurse’s Heaven could be found on Google, than I am 100% positive I could find others for me to browse and see if they held my interest.
It was in that little moment after making my decision, I typed in two little words as I had sa feeling these would send me on an epic journey.
A journey that I hoped would be filled of self discovery, lessons on how to take charge in a man’s world and how to gain back the sisterhood power of the ‘ya-ya’.
Which is similar to to The Sisterhood of The Travelling Pants and Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.
‘Blog & Sydney’.
Like any capital housing little coffee houses, great Italian food and a environment that you want to return to constantly, Sydney is the place.
Sydney is the destination for a mini get-away with girlfriends or that special man in your life as you get to escape from reality and that hound of a boss.
As you get to be anonymous or in my case, go under an alias as you move from place to place, soaking up the culture. It has excellent places to buy photos of Sydney Harbour and it also houses phenomenal and incredible bloggers.
It also holds sweet mementos as I was born in Sydney, am a firm believer China Town is the place to go for a bowl of soup and normally you can find me in Hyde Park, soaking in the sun rays.
Many years ago from my parent’s car speakers, Bono once sang about someone moving in ‘Mysterious Ways’ and that early morning, I believe Google was doing exactly that.
For soon Google not only produced a page containing all words in black and with blue links but at the top of the page, was the preference Google had opted. As my mouse hovered over the name, my curiosity was peeked and I was interested.
Clicking onto the name of the blog, I was soon welcomed into the world and introduced to a black door with gold embellishments.
Just like that, I was held captivated, entertained and completely and utterly fascinated as to what else would be coming my way.
With the help of Google, I set up notifications so whenever something was dropped, it landed in my lap and I knew all about it.
Some three years, countless blogs and kilos later, I am excited for the next adventure.
Each and every time I close the page of Heaven On Bourke, I am kept entertained and never leave saying, “well that was a waste of time!”.
During these three years, I have learnt many, many life skills that have come into use within my dating and social life. I have learnt in particularly how to master the delicate and very comical art of Dragoning a Man. (Which you can read here).
By mastering the delicate art of dragoning, I’ve learnt instead of texting the same guy 27 times and then wondering why he isn’t responding; you simply sending a little dragon head emoji.
Quick, simple and yet incredibly mind boggling as to what the hell the meaning behind it is.
Congratulations because you have just left him staring at his phone, scratching his head and trying to figure out the hidden message behind the message you’ve just sent. With that…. cue the ‘what does this mean?’ text.
As a powerful person in your own right, you will understand that the ball was never in originally in his court but instead had resided in yours at all times. You have successfully taken back your power and awe, have left him mind stumped and maybe, just maybe you have already planned your second date.
During these last three years of reading Heaven On Bourke, Ms. P has taught me many countless life lessons that no doubt will continue to be put into practice.
First lesson I learnt: No one will love you if you don’t love yourself.
I soon discovered this one morning when I decided to take heed and glanced at my reflection. The first thought that came to mind was ‘oh sweet Lord Jesus, what have I done?’ before it was wiped away as I quickly looked down.
That weekend Ms. P wrote a blog about doing the Bondi to Bronte walk.
It was in that moment, I knew I had to kick start my whole entire frame of thinking. As to this day, I am thankful for that blog and arse kicking because without that post; I’d hate to think where I would be today.
Second lesson I learnt: Ms. P is a talented photographer and writer.
The one thing that I appreciate about Ms P and her sense of writing is the fact everyone who is mentioned has no name but a letter.
I like that sense of mystery behind the candid shots (such as the one above) and wondering who these people that she writes about.
For I can relate to that because when I set about blogging, I decided that I would keep those important in my life under hidden wraps, names protected at all costs unless they asked for their names to be public.
I respect that decision and for all the more, did I mention I liked it? The writing and not the photo.
Last but not least, the third lesson I learnt is: To empower others, you need to empower yourself.
I shall leave you with Ms. P, creator and extraordinaire of Heaven On Bourke and her tale as to what empowers her as a woman, living in the busy and bustling city of Sydney.
And what empowered her was the challenges faced on a daily basis.