When a message saying ‘You, Me & Brisbane’ enters my inbox; you know shit is about to hit the fan and I’m 100% throwing caution to the wind for a weekend of debauchery, male gazing and banana lube tasting.
One Thursday evening while lounging across the couch with a face mask on, I received a message from Lady Blacksnot asking me what I was doing for the up and coming weekend. Having offered to babysit her nephew as her sister was working her contacts like a smooth criminal, LBS and Fancy Nancy would be back in Brisbane, Friday.
Not giving two thoughts about my remaining 15 minutes of a lecture, I packed a bag and informed LBS that I’d be there Friday afternoon.
When Friday arrived, I thought I’d leave without any hassles but soon got a rude shock to the system when my weekend getaway started off with fizzles and no pop. I was informed by Pablo when walking out the door, “the dishes needed to be done” and having forgotten my ring, I had to turn back.
Somewhere over the Captain Cook Bridge and INXS’ ‘New Sensation’, my stereo decided to stop. Enduring an agonizing hour and a half in peak hour traffic with no music or sanity barely held on, I arrived in LBS’ driveway after taking the wrong exit with a glazed look on my face.
After taking one look at me and giving me an awkward one-armed hug, Lady Blacksnot III promised she would take care of me before shoving me out the door on the context of dinner. Unfortunately dinner didn’t consist of something like this as much as I’d like it to have been:
Located around the corner from her house was a delightful little cafe that sold the most delicious chicken curry I’ve tried outside of Lois’ homegrown recipe. The curry was perfectly cooked and seasoned to my expectation. Which resided somewhere between burning-ring-of-fire and I-no-longer-have-taste buds.
On the way back to LBS’ house, we took a little detour and found ourselves browsing the local adult store as a close friend of LBS’ was manning the desk for the evening. Being inquisitive about sex toys and what were the best sellers, I resorted to the game of 20/20 questions. As I was introduced to your somewhat realistic and head scratching plastic cocks, I came across a 6 foot plus glass case.
Inside of this glass case, it contained all of the embellishments one would expect to see being offered in a BDSM club. And when asking about a certain instrument, I was told “what you see is only the things we can sell commercially. There is plenty more of what you aren’t seeing here that is available”.
Least to say after spending close to an hour browsing, deciding which breast size would best suit LBS and discovering somethings aren’t really my cup of porn; I left my little adult world tour empty-handed with a lingering taste of aniseed in my mouth.
Post drunken haze of one too many pina coladas and enough gossip to send my eyebrows residing somewhere within my hairline; it was Saturday morning and it was officially time to get my lazy backside out of bed and kick-start our getaway weekend.
That was until I remembered as I was two seconds off from stabbing myself in the eye with my eyeliner, we had to vote. While flapping my hands in front of my watery eyes, I stumbled out of the house and began the process of discovering two things when it comes to voting, Scarlett style.
- I changed my address recently and I had to vote for an area I no longer resided in as the books hadn’t been updated.
- Lady Blacksnot III, full-time Lawyer Bitch and my drunk buddy, wasn’t running for office.
While singing ‘eeny, meeny, miny moe’ underneath my breath as I randomly selected a complete stranger to me; I thought about why LBS wasn’t running for office. Having sacrificed the good for the bad with politicians, I questioned LBS as to why she wasn’t running for political dominance and gains.
Not receiving an answer as I suspect she wasn’t listening to me or she really couldn’t hear me over the cars racing past us, I continuously asked her at a louder decibel and shortly stopped when I got this look.
I suspect she had been listening to me but choosing not to reply so I decided it was best if I stopped questioning her as I wanted to live for another day.
Becoming the professional of ignoring lethal and scathing looks from Lois, I ignored the one I got from LBS as I boarded the bus that would take us into Brisbane. Before we knew it we had arrived at South Bank and were departing the train station, only to be jostled by those who were desperate in getting to their location.
500 meters around the corner from the train station is a stretch of road I love walking.
This stretch of road houses a 12 cinema complex, a great sushi restaurant LBS and I frequently attend when on our lesbian dates and cute little cafes’ that sell delicious and mouth-watering cakes, slices and coffee. But if that isn’t your style, this particular stretch has restaurants like Louisianan street cafe and Manhattan Skyline for those who aren’t into a cafe lifestyle.
When walking past the cafes’ and restaurants and ignoring the lingering looks I was gaining, I discovered my little stretch of wealthy haven had been updated with art. Taking my job as a blogger pretty serious this day, I asked LBS if she would mind taking a couple of photos for me before posing in front of the graffiti art.
Having grown tired of posing for photos, LBS jumped in and showed me how a true model poses for her photographer. Least to say, I now understand why men are in trouble when she walks into a court room and have to admit, it is one of my favourites so far of LBS.
As for the rest of the day, I’m saving this for another post.
Until next time,