Dick Talk with Scarlett: Why Women Don’t Want Your Dick Pics.

As we all have come to know and accept in some form or shape, we live in a modern day world that is constantly changing on a minute to minute basis with our needs. It has seen our eating pattern change from a home cooked meal of the 50’s to driving through a lane and picking up a double whopper with extra cheese.

In regards to communication, our modern day needs and living has witnessed our once healthy habits of speaking to our neighbours and opposite sex, change. Instead of swapping stories over a pot of tea or martini pitcher, we rely heavily upon technology to communicate with the outside world. As a result of becoming such a society, we’re more focused in being plugged into our smart phones and devices. Because of this technology fueled lust, we have lost the ability to behave and act like decent human beings.

This statement or thought was brought to light or rather became apparent when talking to Lady Blacksnot III. With both of us dipping our toes into the world of online dating and having met some questionable people because of said world, I was told of her newest dating experience. Whilst speaking of “Doctor Dick” and how they had been talking for a couple of days, I was told of how she came to be in possession of a dick pic.

Unlike other girlfriends who’d find themselves giggling over the picture of some guy’s naked dick, I was beyond furious at what I was staring at. Burned into my retinas was the image of Doctor Dick’s dick being held while his pants lay around his ankles in bed and the caption, ‘do you like what you see?’.

Staring at Doctor Dick’s dick, my thoughts whilst my retinas burned were ‘really, that’s it? Wow, I’ve seen bigger’ before being followed as the brain registered what was now embedded into my brain, “you have got to be fucking kidding me!” Yes I admit, once upon a time, I would have clapped my hands because the guy wasn’t a worm in the dick department and have given Lady Blacksnot a ‘well done’ speech.

In the sense of giving her encouragement for having stepped out of her highly boundary limited lifestyle and for actually giving some guy a date. Let alone the change of allowing some guy to wine and dine her with food, while not having to fight off hands trying to worm themselves into her pants or bra. Not to mention having to encounter being told, “Drop your keys and bend over, babe!”

Instead of being that excited girlfriend as one should be, I found myself becoming angrier by the minute as I continued staring at Doctor Dick’s dick.

Courtesy of Dick being a dick with a dick

Unlike the guys that have made an entrance into Lady Blacksnot’s life, some of the men I’ve casually seen have been born and bred with actual manners. Something which I’ve discovered of late is a complete rarity. These men have genuinely been interested in getting to know me for who I am and not what I possess under my dress and underwear, which is a vagina.

As for Lady Blacksnot III and her dating experiences, I can’t say the same for her.

Instead of asking her why she was interested in dating, what attracted her to his profile or even complementing the woman on how incredibly smart she is as she’s completed three degrees in Law and Criminology; he decided to completely ignore all of those amazing facts about LBS. I’m not saying this as a friend but rather as another woman who is inspired and awed by her determination to make something of herself. Because someone in her life would have told her, “Deaf girls don’t go anywhere in life!”

No, Doctor Dick decided to tell her what he thought of her by sending her a picture of his dick. So for those who classify and identify themselves as a “man” and are thinking about online dating, wooing in general or are wanking their dick so we can be ‘impressed with large it is’ (not), consider this a friendly note.

Before you send us that picture of your ‘amazing’ dick, you need to pause for a second and ask yourself these questions:

  • Did she ask me for a picture of my penis?
  • Does she want to see my dick within the first five minutes of our conversation?
  • Has she even hinted about sex, penis and sex anywhere in the conversation?
  • Will she be impressed with my ‘amazing’ dick pic of me holding it, in my single bed at my Mother’s house? 

Anywhere in this time of pausing from stroking your dick and taking a 1000 word portrait, only to discover that the answer is NO than delete that bloody photo and close the camera app. In fact, think of a dead body lying in a morgue that has no official name apart from John/Jane Doe and that will kill any idea of getting hard.

Or if you are incapable of being a human being, then why don’t you complement us in other ways. If you are that much a moron who thinks only with his pea sized dick, here are some ideas that actually stem from my brain located above my nipples, breasts and you guessed it, vagina! 

  • What made you check out my profile?
  • When was your last relationship and how has it made you the person you are today?
  • What are your interests and are you looking for someone to join?
  • Where is your ideal date location and how about we cross it off your bucket list?
  • I’m looking at doing (insert topic here that doesn’t feature your dick), are you interested in doing something like this?
  • Tell me about your family and friends?

In case you have forgotten since you left your Mother’s breast and attempted at becaming a man, we are not a walking amusement park for you to sexually harass, belittle or willingly accept your dick pics. Between the time of discovering your dick and what little brain matter you may have in your head, you’re forgetting that women, me and a billion other females, are human beings.

Just like you, we are capable and are able to hold onto a conversation and we have a lot of conversations over men and their tiny brains. We can actually communicate without having to discuss sex, dick sizes and are capable of possessing emotions, wisdom and God forbid, thoughts and being educated!

Be still my beating heart that is a result of my BRAIN actually functioning within a normal human  capacity. Speaking of having a heart, you need to acknowledge that just because we have breasts and a vagina, it doesn’t mean we should be sexualised with a dick pic.

Hey Honey, I found your ‘amazing’ dick!

Unlike mankind and I mean men in this form, women in history have had to fight incredibly hard for our God given rights.

We have donned armour and mounted horses to fight alongside you in battles, Joan of Arc comes to mind in case you don’t remember your history. We have killed threats to ourselves, sat on thrones, being forced into corsets for a man’s idea of fashion or be put in the corners of our husband’s house. Hell the advice that was given and is given still is: “You need to stop being selfish by having separate needs, desires and wants as to your Husband. When it comes to procreation, lie back and think of Britannia.”

That’s okay, don’t mention anything about what actually takes place in a marriage bed and the wet spot

Whilst not sitting on the throne and being forced into entertaining the thoughts of marriage like Queen Elizabeth I, women have chained themselves to buildings and burnt bras while voicing our thoughts and disgust as we fought and still fight for equal rights, equal pay (this is still lacking some 200+ years later!) and social recognition in a world that is Patriotic to the bone.

While dealing with dicks who feel the need to remind us women where we belong on the ladder of life as we repeatedly hit that bloody glass ceiling, we’ve experienced other women reminding us of ‘wifely duties’ when wanting to put our dream into motion. However when hitting the wall known as our ‘Husband’ and ‘society’ because you/they may not agree with us actually wanting to become educated women and have money of our own. Oh the horror of wanting to become financially stable on our own and be able to think for ourselves.

This has resulted in dreams, education and job opportunities being given up so we can fit into that category created by man, otherwise known as: bare foot, pregnant and chained to the kitchen sink. All I can say is “Fuck you Patriotism and your idealistic dreams of how women should act”.

Even now in the 21st century, we still experience women from a wide age bracket asking, ‘why haven’t you had children yet?’ Because heaven forbid we don’t plan on having any and actually saving our vagina’s for something that we dream of. Yet if our partner (shame on us for not marrying!) or husband states, “we don’t plan on having any” it’s considered perfectly normal because ‘the man has had the final say’ in the household.

So if you find yourself living in the 21st century, possess a dick and a camera, each time you send a dick pic and expect us to return the favour because we are a sex object to be fucked, you put everything we’ve fought for back in the prehistoric stone age. Thanks for that, arsehole!

If you are still confused as to what this is all about and how dare I write something like this, on behalf of all the women around the world who don’t want a fucking dick pic; here is some friendly advice as you no doubt sit there in shock because some woman has a voice.

We are not to be seen as a walking, breathing and talking fuck hole that looks like a vagina with a pair of tits on top. You as a human being, in case you have once again forgotten, need to recognise and acknowledge us as what we are. Human beings first and foremost and secondly, a woman. Yes, a WOMAN!

We, just like you dick brain, are entitled to being treated in person and online with respect and decency. In man talk because clearly I’m talking like a ‘woman’ not a vagina would: if the “bitch” ain’t asking for a pic of your junk, she ain’t interested.

At the end of the day when it comes to online dating, communicating with a code of ethics and treating women like fuck holes, the overall point is: we don’t or aren’t interested in your dick size because honey, the next guy along the way can make you look like a little boy with a ill equiped piece of flesh dangling like a limp worm between your legs.


Finally on behalf of all the women I know and from across the world,

Keep your worm dick in your pants!


4 thoughts on “Dick Talk with Scarlett: Why Women Don’t Want Your Dick Pics.

  1. I am sitting here thinking so many thoughts about your latest blog….Dick with the dick who is a dick.

    One thing that has hit me is the HUGE generational gap concerning the whole concept of going on a date in the 2000’s compared to say for instance my years of dating back in the 1980’s.

    In my time, girls were encouraged to have a hint of mystique, we were sexy, flirtatious and looked forward to a night of dancing, dinner, kissing, talking and sharing views on life in the present and maybe hopefully into the future. We could get our gear off in a flash if the guy was lucky but normally this was after we had had several dates and actually maybe had heard the words “you are my girl”.
    We NEVER started our first conversation with ‘so what is your dick like?’ That was a mystery that if we were lucky would unfold when WE were comfortable.

    in fact when I dated, the first words the guy would ever hear was ‘Don’t think you are getting in my pants, until I say so!’ If he didnt accept this then he was shown the door or he slunk off into the corner to sulk of his own volition.

    I was in control of me, not him! I told him how the night was going to go and what I expected from him as a man. As a man, I expected him to be intelligent, sane (always a bonus!), could hold a decent conversation, dance well and look at ME, not my boobs or even think of my vagina. But then again I went out with REAL MEN who had manners, respect, devotion and the attitude that he was one lucky bastard to even to get to speak to me.

    Now a days, it seems to me as a 50 something woman, that men are under the belief that saying hi is boring, but you must be wetting your pants in anticipation of seeing his dick in all its half heartened attempt of an erection just because you click yes on his profile.


    i applaud your blog. I too am angry about the Doctor Dicks behaviour towards Lady Blacksnot. HOWEVER, I do have one question to ask. Did Lady Blacksnot encourage this behaviour herself by not stating she wanted a guy who saw her as a sexy woman, but also as a woman of substance, intelligence and beauty?

    Did she know say to this Dick, that picture is inappropriate and I do not appreciate you assuming I want that image in my head forever?

    My thoughts are this:-

    If you start the conversation off with flirtatious sexual discussion, then to be honest that is all the guy is going to think you are after. I believe he would then think you are after a lick, a suck or a deep throat session while impaling your mouth on his appendage with pure excitement.

    It is up to you as the woman, to assert the conditions of the arrangement of how you want this to proceed at your speed, comfort levels and depth of flirtatious behaviour.

    In another words, BE DOMINANT, make him believe, feel and want you to be his woman, his treasure, his sexual partner who will make his dreams and yours come wildly true. Don’t start the conversation off with “so what is your dick size!”. How about this instead….’I saw your profile / picture and you intrigued me’.

    Sorry this took so long, but as a mother who taught her daughters and sons, show some mystique, intrigue and actually have a decent conversation first….I think parents have to lead by example and encourage their children to take pride in who they are and not allow some dick with a dick show his dick and think you will fall on it with glee.

    big hugs


    1. Dearest Lois, thank you for the comment firstly and secondly, what a vast difference in dating experiences. As to your question, I am not sure what to answer as I haven’t thought of asking LBS that but I can assure you, it will be asked! Take care and thank you. ~S xo


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