#360Hours: Now, Where Did I Put My Brain?

Cgl_LG

Hello from the Little White House,

I wish I could tell you I am sitting anywhere but at my desk but I can’t.  However I do have ‘Tiny Dancer’ by Sir Elton John playing through my head phones at this present moment.

It is the early hours of the morning and I felt compelled to sit down in the lounge room where my desk sits and slowly unleash the thoughts rampaging through my head, that way I may be able to go back to bed, close my eyes and actually sleep!

Mind you hours beforehand, I had felt like a bulldozer had run over me and my head was ready to explode from 6+ hours of sitting in front of my computer, reading and writing pages and pages of information regarding Critical Thinking, Digital Futures, Academic Skills and discovering that my family really do make ALOT of noise when a person is trying to study!

I know that seems a bit strange, normally I manage to tune out any distraction with my head stuck within two to three books I am randomly reading at the same time, knitting needles in both hands creating another woolen blanket for the tribe, eyes glued to some recipe book as I watch over the family.

However there is a good reason for the change….I got accepted into University.

While you digest that bit of ‘Whiskey.  Tango.  Foxtrot’, let me just enjoy that one more time, as I quietly squeal with utter delight, joy and pride!!

I AM GOING TO UNIVERSITY!!!

When I got the acceptance letter in my email box, I honestly sat there and thought to myself – ‘Shit, someone other than my family actually thinks I can do this!’  Then burst into hysterical laughter, looking I would presume like a rather demented middle aged woman.

You can imagine the family’s reaction at this hysterical behaviour  and the common thought floating around the room:- Has she taken her meds today?  Before I screamed out with glee:-  I GOT ACCEPTED!!!

Last week, I got confirmation of my new timetable and began to realize that I was now going to have to actively step outside my roles as Wife and Mother. I must admit I did freak out at that thought.  For 20+ years, even through part time and full time work, my career in my mind was to be the best Wife and Parent I could be.

Now, I want to be a Writer.

Actually, for the past 3 years, I have been seriously hungry for a change within myself. I have been craving time to create a new environment for myself. Not as a Wife or Parent but as a Human Being who has her own goals and dreams.

I unconsciously set this situation in motion one day when I happened to be on campus with Kaffy and Scarlett.  The girls had been walking beside me, when all of a sudden I stopped as they carried on walking and chatting to one another, when it hit me between the eyes:-‘I want to be here too!’

The girls realized their Mother was standing still, on the concourse that runs between the Campus Buildings.  So they turned back towards me, before I could say anything, both girls looked at me and chimed in with:- ‘About Time Mum!’

Before they casually walked off.

About a month ago, they were both fed up with their procrastinating Mother and turned the tables on me. As they stood there, strongly resembling two very strong willed young women, I sat on the lounge chair simultaneously marveling at their beauty and their fierceness.

I may have resembled a 5 foot 3 inch chastened naughty ‘kid’ sitting on the couch, as they read me the riot act about neglecting my dreams and wishes!

If they had not been so serious, I may have chanced a little giggle at being told off by my adult daughters!  but I didnt dare!  L.O.L.

While they ranted and raved, I happened to notice the computer was on, briefly giving them the occasional nod of agreement to what ever they said, I casually grabbed the mouse and entered the University Name of where I wanted to attend and went about applying.

All I can say about the girls is:- The look of astonishment was Priceless!

It is time for ME!

I am now having to consciously rip off the apron, find a decent pen so I could devise a shopping list not for the groceries but for text books, writing materials, a new desk, a new printer, printing paper along with a new diary and assorted other goodies for the four days a week I will be attending University.

Oh My God!  I am going to University.  I am really going. Talk about blown my mind.

This week, I will be attending Campus for the first time in my own right as it is Orientation Week.  I am pretty sure I will come home buzzing! The girls have already decided I can’t possibly attend it by myself, which I am quietly chuffed about.

We, meaning the two feisty young women I gave birth to and their slightly shell shocked, bewildered Mother who up to last week whose only thought was ‘what to cook for dinner’ have had “The Talk.”

You know the one – Words of Wisdom and Strategies of coping with University demands from two young women who attend two totally different Universities with two totally different approaches to University life.

It was a real eye opener!

Scarlett told me that I should immediately engross myself into logistically setting up my life for the next three months that I attend my Tertiary Preparation Programme while busily colour coordinating my subjects into eye catching arrangements in my diary and student subject booklets.  Kaffy informs me to be totally laid back, approach University like it is on Cruise Control while busily telling her sister I do not need the lovely little rolls of pretty coloured tape to decorate my books!

Then there was the little discussion about rules.  Both girls sat me on the couch, told me to take the smirk off my face and listen up!  (I may have phased out from listening…a teeny weeny bit – a Mother’s prerogative!)

It went something like this:-

Scarlett informed me:-  I am NOT allowed embarrass myself or my family name by wearing my student identification around my neck like a dick-wit   (My name is Lois, not Dick!)

Kaffy informed me:- I am not allowed to smoke on campus  ( I might need to find the bike sheds!)

Scarlett informed me:- DO NOT wear your backpack over two shoulders, you put it on one shoulder only  (Yes Master! You will be the one soothing my dislocated shoulders at the end of the day!)

Kaffy informed me:- Why are you stressing already? It is sooooooo easy!   (That would be because I have NO bloody idea what I am doing!)

Scarlett informed me (with gritted teeth):- DON’T YOU DARE start singing out loud while you have your head-phones on in the library!  (Just because I did it once before dosent mean I will again! Shit, I just caught myself!)

As I decorate my diary and notes with pretty rolls of coloured tape, to please my eye as I engross myself head first into writing copious amounts of words and thoughts, I decided Cruise Control might be a good idea for the levels of conscious anxiety!

I only have one thought before I head off to bed to pass on….

Does anyone know where my brain is?

Big hugs from me

From Lois' Desk

 

 

 

 

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