Childhood memories of my Grandmothers’ kitchen have always been divided into two different comparisons of my Mother and Father side of the families.
Embracing my Italian kitchen fantasies, I remember from snippets of visits to my Nonna and Poppy’s house the rather large bowl of plastic fruit (I discovered this by trying to eat an apple) and biscuits that would be smacked out of my hand. For they were well and truly past their expiry date by 4+ years and finally, the large wooden spoon and fork set that used to hang on the wall, near a door.
As for my Mother’s side of the family, I have more memories of what a Grandmother’s kitchen should look, feel and taste like.
My kaleidoscope of memories of getting stuck in the pantry and discovering my fear of being in small spaces, before the dishwasher turned the floor into a skating rink and copious amount of fresh crab meat. Not to mention the various cooking lessons I’ve had from a young age up to a few years ago on how to make the perfect Black Forest Gateau and my favourite, slugs.
Spending 20+ years living with the United Nations in my blood supply and taste buds, I received a message from Lady Blacksnot III who just so happened to stumble across a post that suggested 10 Things To Do In Logan City. After both living various parts of our lives in Logan, I went through the list and fell in love with one of the suggestions.
This is where we introduce Grandma’s Kiwi Kitchen and how we found ourselves sitting in a family throwback.
After a tempting and rather entertaining night of secret acts featuring punch pong and Lady Blacksnot III; we woke up the next morning with a major hangover and in need of a cook up. Fast forward 30 minutes, two showers and a rather epic dash around the block, LBS and I finally arrived at Grandma’s Kiwi Kitchen.
Walking in the summer warmth that refused to turn over into winter and as I wished I hadn’t worn jeans, LBS and I walked past customers who were equally soaking up that fabulous summer warmth. As I lingered on a certain couple, I entered Grandma’s Kitchen and in that moment, it felt like I’d been taken back in time.
To a past memory of where I used to sit on kitchen benches in my Grandmother’s kitchen while being fed from a tiny silver fork and the time I was submersed in the Italian culture as my Grandparent’s next door neighbour blasted rock and classical music as I watched how traditional Italian sauce was made.
Allowing those happier childhood memories to flood my brain, I brought myself back to the future (no pun intended) and noticed a lady-like couch. On this particular couch was a vibrantly knitted blanket that I’ve been told nearly every Kiwi family has one and I must admit, it was tempting to grab a book, draw the knit over myself and soak up a few hundred pages.
The only thing that stopped me was the fact we/I were greeted by friendly staff and told to grab a seat anywhere. So while I was looking at the tempting couch, Lady Blacksnot III and I decided to settle a beautifully painted green, wood table that fitted within the eclectic and rustic taste that fitted Grandma’s Kiwi Kitchen without a doubt.
As I settled for watching the cafe buzzing with life while hearing the staff joke and laugh at a private story that was being told; Lady Blacksnot III went about reading Poppy’s Chocolate as it had been on our Top 10 Things To Do In Logan.
Like any other given time, LBS and I are notorious for finding ourselves distracted about real life scenarios, the myth of micro-dicks and the evolution of ‘where shall we travel?’. This time was no different as we were in the midst of discussing micro-cocks and how would we react if it turned out our date had one, our wonderful waitress arrived to collect our order.
Having both admitted we hadn’t really browsed over the menu, she gave us a couple of more minutes of perusing. This allowed us enough time to formulate a plan as to what LBS could eat, since she has become a Paleo lover and a liver to all things healthy.
With a couple of extra minutes under our belts, we finally got about looking at the menu and with in an instant, I knew I wanted to buy everything. As I looked over the menu, just in case, it brought back memories and tales of Lois’ childhood of how her Mother collected weeds off the side of the road for puha.
Finally, we settled on our selections of deliciousness.
Lady Blacksnot III settled for the ideal Green Meanie smoothie that would hopefully clear her hangover from the night beforehand and gave into the temptation of traditional Kiwi Sweet Corn Fritters with Avo(cado) & Bacon. As for me, I gave into my cravings for Fush & Chops (fish and chips for those Aussie’s who are confused) and a mouth watering, Berrylicious smoothie.
Pausing our conversation about destinations to see come next year, our friendly waitress reappeared with our drinks in hand. After thanking her and a promise our meals will be out shortly, I took a sip of my smoothie and almost died at the wonderfully smooth, bursting berry and creamy texture.
With a pop of berry encased in half a pound of ice cream that was blitzed until it was within an inch of its life, I could imagine myself drinking this on a hot summer’s day while hanging out by the pool or beach front as a cabana boy cooled me down. Or in other words, it was like having multiple orgasms with an incredibly talented lover.
While moaning over another mouthful of my smoothie, much to the amusement of Lady Blacksnot III as she went about checking messages on her phone; our waitress paused at our table with a slightly raised eyebrow.
Thus began the feast of seven brunches as they were placed on our table while our stomachs growled.
As I contemplated how I would go about stealing our table and sticking it into the tiny boot of LBS’ car, I promptly put down my smoothie and started looking at my brunch.
The first thought that came to mind and out of my mouth was, “Holy shit, how in the bloody hell am I meant to eat that?” to which the comment sent the lady behind me, into a fit of hysterics.
It was like Lois had been secretly smuggled into the kitchen and whipped up our dishes in the kitchen and as for Lady Blacksnot’s III sweetcorn fritters, avo and bacon…. it wasn’t exactly small in size either.
Twenty minutes of silence with the occasional burst of a moan as another mouthful entered our mouths or our conversation continued on what had happened the night before; Lady Blacksnot III and I were soon to become content within ourselves.
After settling back in our seats with a groan and a full stomach, Lady Blacksnot and I shared a mutual smile. For we now resembled little Michelin women and no longer possessed the hangover from hell.
When it came time to fixing our bill, I profusely thanked the staff for a fantastic morning of sheer warm hospitality and delicious food. As I walked out of the cafe and past a couple that were having brunch with their daughter, I made a promise I would return with Lois in tow for some brilliant hospitality and choice as Kiwi food.
It is definitely worth the drive!
Now if you find yourself in the South side of Brisbane (Queensland) and feel as if you could eat the back leg off a zebra than I recommend popping into Grandma’s Kiwi Kitchen for something moreish and taste bud tantalizing to eat.
You can find Grandma’s Kiwi Kitchen in these locations:
1 Murrajong Rd, Springwood, Queensland
GKK Waterford West
44 – 50 Chambers Flat Road, Waterford West, Queensland
GKK Logan Markets (Sundays only)
For your homemade cakes, slices & delicious biscuits
Logan Plaza, Wembly Road, Logan Central
Until next time,