I sat on the floor surrounded by bits and bobs, trying to find fault in this person’s presentation and successfully not achieving anything; I happened to glance up in time to watch my Greek God of a brother walk into the room before announcing, “Halloween is at the end of the month and that means 2 more months to Christmas!”.
Cue the dramatic screeching of my Mother’s fingers coming to a stop while my heart jumps out of my chest and commits suicide on the ground in front of me and the past 10 months flashed before my eyes, in a swarm of quick burst of colours, images and monologues. In was in this moment as I tried to revive my heart that I blurted out, “where in the world did the year go? I mean, it feels like it was only yesterday that I was sneaking out of the house to capture images for my New Year’s post”.
Yet here I sit today in front of the windows that overlook the green grass and blooming flowers of the backyard, celebrating the loss of another assignment down the drain and trying to figure out where the last 10 months have gone. I think in some way, I can’t fathom where 2016 has gone because most of it has been spent either writing assignments, blog posts and studying for exams. I have also spent a majority of the year discussing what life after college could potentially be like and stating why I should be selected for a nursing graduate program.
Least to say when I haven’t been up to my eyeballs in Pharmacology and assignment notes, penning my fingers into bloody stumps or singing behind my steering wheel in the early hours of the morning, I’ve been living the entertaining life of a nursing student on placement within an ever changing clinical environment. In return, I have met some pretty amazing people over the last year and slowly but surely, my group of friends is growing.
So let’s do something incredibly reckless together Dearest Reader and we are going to hit that pause button! Having hit that pause button and taking a few moments to simply unwind, relax and sink in a couple of deep breathes, we’re going to take a small trip back in time to the beginning of 2016 and see how far I’ve come regarding my resolutions.
Blogging & Writing.
I originally wrote about how I imagined Scarlett O’Chunky to be by the end of the year as compared to what my initial process was while blogging A Stairway To Nurse’s Heaven. Which some of you may or may not know, was the original blog I started four years ago when I was accepted into college and thus became my platform of expressing inner thoughts, concerns and what I was currently/experiencing within life as a person and student.
Considering some 10 months ago that Scarlett O’ was taking off from the grounds from being originally an idea, I knew I wanted to talk about what it was like to be a nursing student while throwing in bits and pieces on life, the ins and outs of adventures into BDSM clubs and discovering what being single is really like. For these things at the time seemed to be pretty important to me when it came to wanting to write about things that weren’t nursing based and today, are still important to me.
The last 10 months of writing under the title of Scarlett O’Chunky, an authentic blog named after myself, I have found two things absolutely funny and one of them is how easy it was to grasp the concept of working and uploading onto WordPress. As to this day, I’m still trying to figure out if it was because swapping from Blogspot.com and having uploaded previous posts made it easy or I simply knew within my heart that I had made the correct decision to start fresh.
Secondly, I laugh because I have actually managed to uphold my resolution of writing posts on life, my final year as a college and nursing student and so many things in between. In a way, I feel less hemmed in by my once increasingly high expectations I placed on my shoulders as a blogger and now I purely write for myself. Strange thing to write I know but I have always worked on the context of: I f*cking hate it than I am not posting it for views, likes or comments.
Last but not least, I’ve managed to find a time of the week that allows for easy uploads and lengthy stays in bed with a cup of coffee and that being on Sunday mornings at 10 am. However, you may have noticed that I’ve been uploading on Wednesday’s at 10 am and so far, I like being a dual weekly blogger but for now, I am still not sure if I will keep this for the new year so make sure you stay in tune.
Keeping fit, active and healthy.
A few years ago, I woke up after experiencing yet another ‘fat’ moment where nothing fit and as a result, found myself lying down on the ground with a coat hanger attached to my jean zip because the stubborn thing refused to go up. Thus began my introductory journey of taking small and constant steps towards becoming a healthier, fitter and active me.
This forward thinking moment originally came from spending 45 minutes psychoanalysing myself from all aspects like I was a complete stranger, having met myself for the first time. Post negative downward spiral, 2016 has witnessed me not attending a yoga or pilates class as I once stated in my resolutions and instead of making an excuse of not being able attend due to them clashing with my lifestyle and college timetable –this is somewhat true – I’m going to state that I lost interest in yoga and pilates.
In replacement of yoga, I have taken up meditating whenever I feel the need to do so and have found myself meditating while standing in a bathroom with a patient, who was on the toilet. However, when I am not taking advice from various online bloggers about their health goals and outlook on life and trying to implement some tips into my own, I’ve become a somewhat regular at my doctors’ practice.
At the beginning of the year, I was diagnosed with having mastitis in the right breast after experiencing mind blowing pain and swelling of my breast tissue and a few weeks later, I was diagnosed with having a cyst in my right – are we seeing a pattern here? – ovary. It can be stated from someone who was having fortnightly vaginal scans that I am now immune to the whole ‘should I be natural or smooth’ debacle that seems to float through nearly every woman’s head and as a result, being comfortable with your body and the fact of chosing whether you wax, shave or are natural shouldn’t define you.
Having been diagnosed with a rather large golf ball, I have become more aware of wanting to eat healthier and being wiser with what it is entering my mouth and body. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not going to suddenly proclaim that I have gone vegan and taken up a full blown paleo diet although I can see some benefits of being on it, I’ve taken much smaller steps. Instead for my own benefit and health reasons, I’ve swapped out full dairy and processed sugars while still keeping my three portions of required dairy – in my case I really need it – and only have recently started using almond milk instead of lactose free.
As a result, I’ve felt less lethargic with a wider attention span for the important things like assignments and not experiencing as many IBS cramps and ‘why me!’ moments.
I’ve started buying more fruit and vegetables from my little veggie man in a green shed, a few kilometres from my house. Although he doesn’t have a wide production of fruits and veg because its grown seasonally, unlike my local chain supermarkets; I do know after speaking the loveliest cashiers of all time, my produce is locally sourced and is organically grown. So much so, the curry I’m currently eating while typing this post has said vegetables and canned legumes and might I say, its positively delicious.
Although speaking of healthy and wise things for my body, the only downfall to 2016 is my increased intake coffee and decrease in herbal teas. Being someone who absolutely swore about my love for things tea related, I suspect I have been converted to the dark side but do believe that when the stresses such as college, assignments and exams finally depart, I may put down my teaspoon of coffee and reside to drinking a more delicate Earl Grey.
Speaking of college, here is my next resolution.
College has been an interesting time and experience for me this year as I originally started off the academic year, excited about the expectations and thoughts I had/have towards college and my #lifeasanursingstudent. To this date, I am not sure if my mixed emotions are a result of spending four years of my life choosing study over a social life, relationships, marriage and children and in result, have been listed by various people as being “incredibly selfish”.
Or are my mixed emotions a result from finally being able to see the sunlight at the end of a four year long, drama and action packed romantic comedy that won’t see me being nominated for Best Performing Actress in a melodrama? Whatever the reasoning is, the past 10 months have taught me many things regarding my drive and desire of being educated, the incredible lengths I would go to in making sure that my patient/s and family members are comfortable, cool and level headed. Hell, I even flirted with a doctor over a pile of papers only to walk away and go, “did that really happen or was those 45 seconds of him staring at me, a part of my imagination?”
Trust me, I never found out if it really did happen because when I went to ask Mr. Brown Eyes and Not Brown Shoes for his number, I discovered that his rotation had finished on my ward and clearly, it wasn’t meant to be. However, when I am not staring at doctors over a ream of printer paper, I still have spent a somewhat majority of the year, crying my eyes out. Particularly in regards to psychological torture otherwise known as Pharmacology and Clinical Capstone parts 24 and 68. But have once again proven to myself, after spending another mad dash of an early morning writing my assignment, that I am still crazy, insanely stupid and yet, have the strength and ability to pull bullsh*t out of my arse and wrap it up in a bow for my tutor to read.
Least to say, my favourite bullshit assessment that has been handed in this semester is my 2500 words on Mr. Jensen, who decided he would fall face first into the ground from his roof. As a result of his stupidity, he subsequently sustained two open fractures in his right leg and almost died. So after pulling random bullshit from my arse and presenting it in an academically appropriate essay on how I will prevent Mr. Jensen from dying due to his own carelessness, I think I’ll make a bloody brilliant nurse.
For your information, its only just now clicked that I am a college student who is in her last semester of college, who is about to graduate and become a fully qualified nurse and holy shit, it is actually happening. Maybe I should sign up for another degree?
Only 69 days, 59 minutes and 30 something seconds before I stop calling myself, “your student nurse”.
I spent a majority of my youth and young adult years travelling from place to place with my belongings packed and stowed away in cardboard boxes and even now as I write this, mostly all of my possessions are lying packed up in boxes.
10 months ago, I wanted 2016 to be the year of freedom and such things before being hemmed in solid working hours, having showers with patients and that final pressure of it being the end of my college life. As a result of it wanting it to be a year of freedom with the ability and opportunity to travel to different locations around the country I live, I can state that I have successfully passed this resolution goal.
So far this year, I have been given a couple of opportunities to take a few days off from my busy life and travelled on down to the sunny Gold Coast with family. When I haven’t been dipping my toes into the pool, sweating it out at the gym or cycling to the erratic beat of my heart, I have been stopping at different little towns on my travel to college and circling the busy streets of Brisbane City. Now when I am not being pushed by business clad people, I have travelled up north to Bundaberg and stayed for an evening of pamper and relaxation last month and only recently within the last couple of weeks, travelled to Townsville.
For both work and pleasure.
As to other destinations I have in mind and up my sleeve, I’ve spoken to close friends and family about wanting to take a day trip to the area that saw me enrol and accept my position for college so I can successfully bring that part of my life to a complete and utter close. Because at the moment, there is still some unresolved business that is lurking and I have the need to be finally free of every burning question I have and possess. Lastly, there has been talk of not spending Christmas at The Little White but as to that location, I can’t let every secret I own, go.
Since 2016 hasn’t officially come to an end yet and we still have another two months left, I think its time to implement a few little goals that are achievable and somewhat easy and they are:
- Write and hand in my L A S T 2500 word assignment.
- Finish my final 160, making a total of 860 hours, for nursing placement.
- Sit and pass my final exam (4’s open doors!)
Until next time,