There are many things within my life that bring me the utmost happiness and pleasure on a daily basis. Whether it is that extra naughty marshmallow in my hot chocolate, the thought of actually having hot water as my hot water system is on the fritz or spending time with friends and family.
My truest form of happiness and pleasure is being able to get in my car and drive a couple of hours to spend the weekend with Lady Blacksnot III. Like any occasion with Lady Blacksnot, it involves our friends vodka being served in an excellently cringe worthy punch that progressively gets better with each mouthful or cup, depending on who you asked. Before capping it off with our ever famous, chocolate vodka cake.
As to how I found myself drinking alongside Lady Blacksnot while playing drunk punch pong and hysterically laughing over the word ‘pussy‘ being dropped in a sentence at regular intervals, it was a Friday night and that’s where the story begins and ends.
However when we weren’t playing punch pong or complaining about being “too f*cking old for this shit”, we were exploring what Brisbane had to offer us.
Our adventure and my childhood memories saw us escape into the wonderful world of Grandma’s Kiwi Kitchen, which is located in the South lands of Brisbane City. As much as it hurt to tuck those memories away into their storage container for another day, Lady Blacksnot III and I both found ourselves to be at ease.
A few days later and after squeezing into LBS’ bitchin’ Ferrari, we went about giving this tourist thing another go after our failed first attempt of trying to see Brisbane. Only difference this time was we had our Brisbane Guide map, in the form of a GPS and me trying to give directions. As for our tourist personalized air-con, it featured all windows being completely down in true Aussie summer fashion.
Opting to go full out and have a ladies brunch, LBS and I dined in elegance at Kuta Cafe, Mount Coot-tha. Lingering and greedily drinking up the summer sun while stealing glances Mr. Man Candy, I sipped away on my much needed coffee. It was in this moment as I glanced at Lady Blacksnot III who was sitting next to me in silence that I truly felt as if my weekend had been capped off rather perfectly.
However, that was until Lady Blacksnot III put the cherry on the sundae by suggesting we pop around the corner of Kuta Cafe and take in the stunning views of Brisbane City.
And boy, were the views absolutely stunning.
Moving in sync and circles around one another as we took in the views of Brisbane from different angles, it took me by surprise that this had been the first time I had been to Mount Coot-tha with someone outside of my family. Blood family that is.
Although I thought about that promise of witnessing a rising or waning sun with a certain lover of mine and sniggering at what else flowed through my mind, I knew within in my heart that I had chosen the perfect person to experience this moment of my life. Or rather, Lady Blacksnot III has experienced many a moments of my life since being reintroduced to one another after having never been “techinically friends” in high school.
All because one of us decided to extend the olive branch, which soon would turn into vodka bottle and then chocolate vodka cake, and hit that ‘send friend request’ on social media. In this case, I’d plant a kiss on Mark’s face.
Now some 8+ years, countless posts about LBS’ failed attempts of cooking and us dying as spinsters together because we’re awesome like that, we have experienced and seen everything that resembles the best, good, worst and downright fucking ugly about one another and each other’s lives. Together, we have experienced self independence that allowed for snippets of freedom and the running jokes of spinisterhood.
Finally, we have the luxury of being able to be two twenty something year old women, who don’t have the slightest worry of our husbands and children dying from starvation.
Thinking back to the years I spent wondering what life would and could be like outside of Redneck County and the adventures that were waiting for me to take that first step. Before ultimately diving head first into the seas of life, living and experiencing what it was truly like to be an adult.
The times I would sneak into the library while on my lunch break to read about the extraordinary life of Lady Blacksnot III, future Lawyer Bitch and man eater in the making. Where I would send an equally anticipated 27 page reply in return about what it was like to be living in Redneck County, being known as the +1 of Mr. Wolf and family member of The O’Chunkys.
In some way or shape, I couldn’t picture the quiet and social awkward teenagers who just so happened to meet one morning in music class, all these years ago in high school; becoming the women they are today and the friendship that was waiting to happen.
Although I tend to write about Lady Blacksnot III’s cooking capabilities being formerly deadly, her incapability of having a sense of humor nor being able to hold a smile and her epic failures within the dating ring parts 1, 2 and 3 (
with or without her permission), I would consider myself pretty special to know a fantastic woman like LBS.
In this case, when she did not possess the prestige title of being known as a Lady to the time she married Lord Blacksnot III Esq.
Thinking of the future and Lady Blacksnot being able to formerly hold a smile, there shall come a day when my future husband, Mr. Darcy, turns to me and says, “Darling, I love you but must Lady Blacksnot crawl into bed at all hours of the night? I’ve woken up to both you and her gossiping about penis sizes, sex, the next excuse for chocolate vodka cake and what guy she’s interested in dating?”
If and when I am asked this question since the twisted sisters have been once again found in bed as my children lay about being cuddled. Or at the kitchen table over chocolate vodka cake, discussing the appropriate length and width of cocks and how men should be taught how to use said equipment properly; than the answer shall always be yes.
Taking a phrase of words that hold meaning, after 8+ years being the ultimate wing woman to one another and holding each other’s hands through times of happiness, grief and “his dick was what size?”, Lady Blacksnot III will always be ‘my person‘.
Until next time,