One thing I loathe about blogging is having to wrap my brain around the concept of another year being on my doorstep, Mr. Darcy is still stuck in transit so another Valentine Day is going to be spent with my cat and Bridget Jones and I have to write a post on what my goals and ambitions are going to be for my New Year Resolution post.
As a result of too many Christmas Carols and not enough kisses under the mistletoe, I decided to do some research of my own and discovered that most of the blog posts I read in 2016 were solely focused on: engagements, marriages, deliveries of wriggling babies, health goals and new year resolutions. Alongside the tips and tricks of becoming an independent woman, capable of achieving success without a man attached to her back pocket or wallet.
In my mind when it comes to writing in the New Year and actually settling down with a list of tasks to be accomplished over the next three hundred and sixty-five days, New Year Resolutions posts are one of the most critiqued, criticized and highly impacting posts available in the online world of Blogging.
So I guess my feeling of loathing doesn’t stem from picking apart someone else’s post and judging them for their personal development and ambitious goals. Instead, my loathing of New Year and change actually comes from the fear of not knowing what lies beyond my imagination and the unhealthy and cringe-worthy obsession I have.
An obsession that sees me pick apart my own life and causes further judging of myself as a writer, blogger, creative influence for insanity and more importantly, as a woman. This has in return, had a negative impact on my ‘new year, new you’ philosophy which tends to last exactly 20 days before something happens and my anxiety hits the roof and positive thoughts stop existing.
Because of this mentality and the stress I often cause over the simplest thing, there have been times where I’ve been able to pin-point exactly where I went wrong. Having said this, I’ve noticed and acknowledged these periods of destruction have been for the greater good as it has allowed me to promote and encourage positive improvements and changes to be implemented within my life.
Where once upon a time, I wouldn’t have been able to notice and accept these choices or acknowledged I was the reason why I was highly stressed and anxiety ridden.
This positive thought alongside the welcoming of another year, +1 being added to my twenty-something year old life and the thought of ‘now what do I do with a Bachelor Degree in Nursing’ and being that one step closer to botox; 2017 has already given me a sense of purpose to implement ‘unfinished’ goals in a new and exciting prospect and way.
All the while knowing there is a 99.9% guarantee these improved embellishments and somewhat, unrealistic goals for 2017 won’t be achieved. But thinking on the positive and bright outlook on what the upcoming year shall bring to me, I’m hoping that my realistic New Year Resolutions goals shall live or at least attempt to meet my incredibly high standards for self ambition, drive and personal growth, development and success.
I think with 2017 being a new year, I’m going to turn over a new leaf –think that’s the saying- and start on a more brighter note for the upcoming 365 days of fun, adventure, glorious and copious amount of food and wine and the inevitable mention of ‘where is he?’
But like any story set in time and located in a far away land or distant galaxy, my fondest memory of celebrating a new beginning, new year and newest set of realistic goals to creating, defining and expanding an old you is a memory held by a tie dyed, flower obsessed and Janis Joplin appreciator 10 year old, piggy tailed hippy child.
A few moon phases ago when I was that little 10 year old piggy tailed hippy child, I got to witness the most spectacular and utterly mesmerising moment of my life. This moment of time is still played like a continuous movie loop on repeat in the back of my mind when it comes to finding myself either perched on a chair or casually lounging in bed, while writing posts to bring in the entertaining thought of a ‘new year and new you’.
So my memory begins with being woken up by a gentle shaking upon my shoulder and the burry image of my mother, Lois, swimming before my eyes. After rubbing my eyes with a closed fist and my eyesight having adjusted, I witnessed a serene and beautiful smile grace her face as she bent down to me as if she were going to tell me a secret. Instead of whispering, she said: “I want you to come, see and witness a new beginning of a new world, time and era.”
I glanced at her as she held out a hand to me and just like that, I threw back the covers and snuck out of my bedroom in the dark.
Placing myself on the corner of the mattress that had been spread out of the floor before getting settled against my Mother’s leg, I sat in fascination and silence. As I sat there watching the sky lit up with hundreds and thousands of fireworks before the image changed to people lining the streets of the world, kissed and hugged one another with copious amounts of joy, happiness and peace; I felt an indescribable change within the world.
Both for the positive and negative influences it would have upon everyone.
As my mind shuts that memory away into its marked box for another time, I can state this is the last moment I got the experience and see pure joy, happiness and peace on everyone’s face. Because when I turn on my television, open the news on my iPad or mobile phone, I am greeted with war, suicide bombings, plots of terrorism, ISIS and Donald Trump.
So if 10 year old me were to be given the opportunity to say something worldly knowledgeable on what she perceives the balance to Life really means is to a twenty something year old me, I suspect it would be: “Vegetarianism is the bomb and you should go native or go home, peace!”
Dearest Reader, I’ve decided to take advice from my 10 year old self and I am going to go native or go home trying, writing and styling with creative flare. With this under thought drifting in the wind as we go about drumming to our own beat and fashion flare:
Welcome to 2017!
Not to mention, congratulations for surviving another year and Donald Trump becoming President.
Lots of champagne, naked cock fights and Kylie’s great arse,
P.s. To see if I truly went native with my New Year Resolutions for 2017, return this Wednesday at 10am to find out.