When thinking of New Years and what it entails, I dreamt a dream consisting of a 10 year old piggy-tailed, tie dye loving hippy child, who sat a miniature desk in a classroom. As my brain tried to digest what I looked and sounded like at 10 years of age, she lent over the desk that housed math homework and placed tanned hand over my more mature, pale one and said, “Darling, you have to go native or go home.”
Having woken with a start before I could ask what it all meant, the answer came to me a few days later while listening to Tracy Chapman sing about love all the while pouring over Nigella’s wisdom as Elizabeth Gilbert’s ‘Eat, Pray, Love’ sat untouched beside me. As my untouched bible of self discovery, faith and love sat beside, I realised my dream meant my resolutions would be simplified into three categories as they define my life, existence and things that make up who I am, outside of a blog post and illuminated screen.
Eat, Pray, Love: My 2017 New Year Resolutions.
For those who haven’t been around since the beginning of time when I started blogging, my background with food and bloodlines has been an interesting read to say the least. When I’m not writing about the internal and external struggles when dealing with my food and eating demons, I’m experiencing what I’ve dubbed as the ‘five minute hunger cravings’.
My five minute cravings aren’t a result of my eating disorders flaring up but instead, its a result of my bloodline being predominantly made of Australian blood with a mixed background of English, Italian with an additional splashing of Welsh and half New Zealander and a side serving of English, Jewish, Spanish and Maori. As a result, I find myself craving anything pickled and savory within an inch of its life because of my Jewish side and five minutes later, I’m experiencing an Italian moment complete with backwards hand wave and “ciao Mama” being thrown over my shoulder.
All the while, weaving my way around the kitchen as Italian music blasts its presence from my speakers as I cook vast amounts of healthy Italian feasts that consist of nothing else but pasta, tomatoes, vegetables and pasta. Because I associate planning menus, endless hours of cooking and joyful eating with happier times of my life with my parents and Grandparents, in 2017 I want to step out of my comfort zone.
Apart from keeping up my healthy lifestyle of cutting out sugar, swapping out dairy for almond or lactose free based products and introducing more vegetables, I want to discover, lean and cook different cuisines from around the world. This can be achieved by meal planning after having read about the advantages on a blogger’s website and I feel by planning my meals in advance, it not only cuts out junk food and unhealthy eating but it promotes less stress, costs and cooking time.
But it also means I can introduce eating and buying local produce when applicable because I love the thought of supporting my local veggie guy. Besides, where can you go wrong in eating organic bananas by the kilo, smothering yourself in a hybrid pineapple while listening to apple pineapple pen and supporting your local veggie bloke?
It also brings back memories of a small plot of land in my backyard that once housed rows of corn, endless vines of plush, plump red tomatoes and the mouth watering smell of parsley and other herbs. To which are the staples to any true Italian feast and the given opportunity to bow your head and pray.
When thinking about the art form of prayer and dedication we have to communicating with our Gods, Spiritual Guides and other Holy figures, I often think about my upbringing with Religion and God. I consider myself to be incredibly lucky as I have grown up in a liberated household where I have been given the knowledge that I can freely choose my own religion, cultural beliefs and anything else related to Religion. As a result, I’ve attended a Catholic church due to my Father being Catholic out of curiosity and many Christian churches as that is both my and my Mother’s faith.
This in return has caused me to spend plenty of Sundays, sitting in a pew being surrounded by others who were and still are, seeking God’s word and the knowledge he was there. As to the story on my personal feelings about attending church, I decided that my destiny and Life lessons weren’t going to be found within the walls of the church, Bible verses or the constant octave change within my soprano range. So I announced my decision to leave the church to my parents and that evening, I placed my Mother’s Bible back in the bookcase and proceeded to bow my head in prayer.
Over the next few years, I would find myself repeating the same action and asked God if he had a plan for me, for I felt like I was merely floating along with no real intention or purpose and if he so kindly could give me a sign. The answer to my pleading and worry would arrive in the form of a phone call to my Mother, Lois, in the early hours of a winter morning. Later that morning, I would straddle my Grandmother’s chest and perform Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation (CPR), after having watched a Grey’s Anatomy episode the previous night prior, and revived my Grandmother.
My love for all things medical based and the desire for that adrenaline rush was effectively born and created in those few minutes. It gave birth to the idea of going to college and becoming a Registered Nurse with intentions of going into medicine at a later date. Four years after being accepted into college, 800 hours of placement and what felt like an endless amount of assignments, I recently graduated college as a Registered Nurse. Because of this, I’ve had to seriously think hard about my goals towards prayer, my profession as a Nurse but also remain true to my beliefs and my 2017 resolutions are:
- Taking time to write things I am greatful for.
- Trying to focus on the positive rather than the negative
- Focus on gaining nursing goals and remaining human.
- Keep praying it forward.
Lastly, Corinthians 13:13 states three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is Love.
Final resolution for 2017 and you would think about all this time of writing, I’d be able to sit down and write about my thoughts on the topic known as ‘Love’ and consider it done for the day. Instead, after three days of constantly closing this post and my three little words being deleted repeatedly, I discovered everyone’s experience with love is different. If I were to write about Love and all it entails, I would have to be truthful with myself as I don’t know how to word and write my personal, detailed and very intimate thoughts in sentences.
As a result, I couldn’t help but ask: What is Love?
Without trying to sound like a walking cliché, Love to me isn’t just a word that gets tossed freely around the air like a balloon on a string for it needs to be earned by the person in the picture or in question. Love is an emotion that causes my heart to stop beating for a few seconds before the urge to run to them overcomes me but the same time, I want to savoir that moment. However, Love isn’t purely reserved for being in a relationship as it includes self-love in a variety of different contexts.
Some would say that self-love allows for the beginning formation of self-acceptance and body expectations to become positive. While others would state that self-love is purely focused on masturbation and discovering the ins and outs to our sexual desire and needs so we can tell current/future partner(s) what it is exactly that we want and to be honest, there is nothing wrong with that at all.
Now after quitting the dating industry to take time out for myself I could work on my own needs, wants while overcoming the demons of previous relationships; I realised two things and they are: I have become incredibly lonely and I want to settle down within someone and build a future with them. Whether they are the incredibly fabulous Mr. Darcy, who is wearing brown shoes or Joe Blog from down the street, I think it’s time.
Dearest Reader, I think it is time for me to remove the self-imposed spinsterhood and start welcoming certain aspects of being a woman back into my life. This means pulling out my heels from storage, washing my fancy dresses and primping myself within an inch of life as I welcome and greet the thought of entering the dating industry, head on.
My 2017 resolutions for Love is about stepping out of my comfort zone as I experience my fair share of gentlemen, toads and finding the rhythm I once possessed to the world of seeing men and the thought of bringing them home to meet my family and Lois. It means letting go of my lingering thoughts on Mr. Wolf, Psycho Pants and The Sheriff -man that was hard to write- and step out, who I am.
Scarlett O’Chunky, the woman who isn’t afraid of anything and loves pasta by the pound.
As always Dearest Reader, we should raise our glasses to toast in the New Year and the next 365 days as we embark on this scary and yet incredibly thrilling journey while continuing traditions such as sharing my thoughts, experiences and dating adventures every Sunday and Wednesday at 10 am (GMT+10).
Good luck and lots of love,