It feels like it was only yesterday.
I was giving myself both a mental and physical pep-talk about what it may feel like bringing home a tiny, little newborn and learning the ins and outs to breastfeeding and motherhood in general.
While there were days spent recovering in bed and with a babe attached to my breast, wondering if I was ever going to be walking upright and normally or I would get out of the house. To thinking about finding some new mama friends and the anxiety of not finding someone who had a baby and would want to listen to me moan about sleepless nights. Or catch up with a coffee and simply sit there in silence.
It would be the first few months of learning to live with a newborn and your endless fear of SIDS, I began to question myself as to whether or not I would cope with the changes of becoming a completely different person. Or, I would be seen as that mum who rocks up to drop her child off at school and is wearing 4 day old sweats, a greasy mum-bun and has a permanently attached coffee mug in her hand because motherhood and work is killing me.
With a quick blink and what felt like a few seconds later, my journey into motherhood over the past 20 months has evolved, changed both dynamically and silently and I’ve discovered that I am more than capable of coping beyond my original expectations of motherhood.
Although I wouldn’t claim to be a foolproof professional and have struck a book deal, I now wait with anticipation at the newest discoveries to be had and learning from those past experiences.
Though there have been countless times were I have shed a silent tear or two as I hide in the bathroom for a moment of relief and while going to the bathroom, two little fists bang away on the door and I’m being yelled at.
Or the times, I stand over Blake’s cot and watch him sleep and dream the sweetest dreams in his little bed. Before re-tucking him into bed for the night.
Where once upon a time, I would have contemplated camping out in his bedroom as I slept on a mattress on the floor because I was afraid of him stop breathing. Or, trying to figure out if his cot could hold both our weights as I lay next to him in bed in case he needed me.. only to then realise, I probably would never be able to get out without having to call for help.
Needless to say, my journey into motherhood has been an interesting and joyous experience. Minus the hairbrush incident. It has also brought attention and light to a new project that I have been working on.
Something of which, I have been keeping a secret until now and I’m bursting at the sides with impatience!
As a matter of fact, today seems like a rather brilliant day to announce what this project of mine is…
However, rather than what I suppose…
I should probably mention who….
Because, Dearest Reader, I have someone to introduce you to.
Mr. Darcy and I’s secret little project.
I cannot begin to tell you how truly excited I am, to not only meet this little person.
But be able to share the journey with Blake, who is now going to be a big brother and with you too.
While I would like to claim my first trimester was more relaxed than what I experienced with my first pregnancy, it was something not quite what I had anticipated nor expected.
Not only have I been suffering from severe and slightly extreme morning sickness that I’ve been barely able to leave the bed or crawl away from the toilet. But there were a few times of being admitted into hospital for extreme dehydration.
Having to explain to those inquisitive minds as to why I was in hospital was slightly harder than I had thought.
But alas, I am hoping my second trimester will be filled light at the end of the tunnel and while I am feeling much better, I still experience the odd moment of nausea. Especially when looking at sunny-side eggs.
However, it’s beginning to feel rather exciting when I feel sharp little jabs to my stomach as the baby makes its appearance, occasionally.
Speaking of emotions, I am also hoping my emotions and mood will be completely different than I experienced with my first pregnancy and I won’t be so anxious, worried or stressed this time.
So, as we celebrate the arrival of another little loved one…. I cannot wait to see what this new chapter of my life story brings.
All I do know is this little person is going to be very, very loved and adored.
Eliza & Co xx.